Wine and roses

A poem:

So life's year begins and closes,
Days though shorting still can shine,
What though youth gave love and roses,
Age still leaves us friends and wine.
-Thomas Moore

Now, if we take this poem as absolute fact (and we will), then there are two things to note:
1) Love and flowers are transient, ephemeral pleasures. There is no need to dedicate much time to them.
2) Friends and wine are what we're stuck with when we're old.

Therefore, to lead a truly enjoyable life one should dedicate themselves equally to developing good friends and good wine. I call this 'Moore's Law'. It rhymes, see? It also sounds a little like coleslaw, but that is purely coincidental. Enough of this though. Onward:

The nature of friendship is such that this will require many years of shared joys, a gradual development of trust, and countless hours of communication.

Fortunately, the nature of wine is such that you can just buy it ready made.

Based upon our incontrovertible premise (that a good life will be spent seeking wine and friendship in equal amounts), then one must spend as much time drinking wine as one spends with friends.

"But wait!" (I hear the uneducated cry), "we barely have enough time to spend with friends as it is! How can it be that a truly moral life requires us to match this in our search for wine?"

My first response is this— this is the method for a good life, as prescribed by the above poem. It was never claimed to be easy. Nonetheless, there is a solution to the dilemma of chronological constraints. Pay attention now, as this is where it gets complex:

Drink wine with friends.

In doing so, the poetic faithful can fulfil their obligation to strengthening friendships as well as their obligation to drink wine, and can do so with maximum temporal efficiency.

In conclusion: though it may be difficult, those who seek the holy path must drink wine and have friends. Praise be to Moore.

Addendum: this is the origin of the phrase 'Please sir, I want some more' in Oliver Twist. Dickens, a devout follower of Moore's Law, penned the original phrase thusly: "Please sir, I want some Moore". At the time, this was a common way to request either a rendezvous with a friend or a tipple of vinified beverage. Young Oliver was, therefore, asking for a glass of wine to help him on his way to enlightenment. Unfortunately, Dickens' editor was a soulless heathen to Moore's Law and made the 'correction' that has since become part of the text we know.

The believers among us can attempt to resist this gentrification of the phrase by saying "can I have some Moore?" whenever our glass is empty. Listen out for it. We're everywhere.

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